Hublot, the Swiss watchmaker, has some singular ideas about sports sponsorship.
You might expect a luxury brand whose products have an average retail price of SFr23,000 to take an interest in, say, polo. Or top-end sailing, or maybe Formula One.
And, indeed, Hublot is involved with some of these.
But football? Well, let’s just say it would not be at the top of my list.
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The problem with English football is not the Premier League. Nor that its chairman, Sir David Richards, uses industrial language.
MPs may have been shocked when Lord Triesman, former chairman of the FA, told the House of Commons Select Committee on football how Richards goes about his business and the language he uses.
But that is not the real issue.
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The £225 million ($363 million) spend in the January transfer window has been greeted with awe, alarm and the sort of reaction that suggests something entirely new has happened.
That is not so.
Yes, the figure is a record. But that fact, by itself, does not change the basic realities of the Premier League.
Ever since UEFA announced its financial fair play regulations designed to stop clubs over-spending, Michel Platini has been at pains not to single out the Premier League as the prime culprits. Penny for the UEFA President’s thoughts now.
Any of us who thought – and there are a good many – that the age of mind-boggling transfer fees had been swallowed up by the credit crunch were brought right back to reality when the mid-season window reached its frenzied dramatic conclusion.
Andy Gray and Richard Keys are the only people who appear to be surprised by the storm their comments have caused.
But what really intrigues me are the two issues the whole affair raises. Neither have received much attention. One relates to Sky Sports. The other is best summed up in the following question: where is England’s Karen Espelund?
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Funny game football, they say, Except that no one is laughing at the moment.
What with the sexist piggery at Sky, the sordid squabbling over who kicks off at the Olympic Stadium after 2012, the ineptitude of those who run the game, the ever-escalating greed-is-good philosophy of the Premier League and those who play in it, you would think it would be a total turn-off by now.
But perversely, the public continue to turn on.
The row about the post-Olympic use of the Stratford stadium is the price of unexpected victory. And, if it is not quite like the wages of sin, it is just as painful.
In many ways, the 2012 bid book pledge to retain an athletics track at the Olympic stadium was the sporting equivalent of the Liberal Democrats’ pledge not to raise tuition fees.
They made it in good faith but then they did not expect to be in Government,
Among the tabulated figures and block graphs of the latest big football survey to emerge blinking into public view – the Third Demographic Study of Footballers in Europe, to be precise – is what amounts to little more or less than a character reference.
It lies in just one statistic garnered from a census of 13,108 footballers playing for 534 top clubs within the 36-member national associations of UEFA –
Just occasionally, in the murky, unpredictable world of football politics, an issue so outrageous and so baffling hits you so hard between the eyes, you wonder if you are actually seeing straight.
More column inches have been written about FIFA’s decision to award Qatar the 2022 World Cup than of us could have imagined before last month’s Zurich vote. What’s done is done say those who voted for the tiny Middle East state half the size of Wales.
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As members of the Oceania Football Confederation (OFC) made their way last week to Pago Pago to vote for a new President, word reached me of an idea that could transform their futures and send a shockwave through the murky world of global football politics.
The idea of a breakaway Asian confederation, embracing Oceania and several easterly members of the current Asian Football Confederation (AFC) is being actively discussed.
At present it is hard to assess the timescale,
O what a tangled web we weave, when we first practise to deceive!
So tangled, in fact, that most attribute the quotation to Shakespeare when actually it was penned by Sir Walter Scott.
I make the point not to boast any great literary leaning but because had sports politics been on the agenda when it was written back in the 19th century then never would it have been more aptly described.
It was entirely predictable that Sepp Blatter’s comments on the 2022 World Cup in Qatar being played in January raised a howl of protest.
Not only does it seem extraordinary that after the game is over, the rules of the game are changed, but the near-revolution this would cause to the European game is incalculable.
But what has been missed in all this is that Blatter, the most consummate of sports politicians –
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The imminent arrival of Wembley chairman David Bernstein in the same post at the English Football Association (FA) has sent me scurrying to the FA’s accounts.
Has David Beckham done something that no other footballer has ever managed?
I do not mean his setting the pace among male fashion models, or the fact that he is now tutoring the next generation of Beckhams to be fashion models as well.
His eight year old son Romeo is now 26th in GQ magazine’s top 50 best-dressed men in Britain list, not that far behind David, who is 16th.
So we’ve got Rodney – Marsh, of course, who else? – in the nightclub – Tramps, of course, where else? – with George – Best, of course, who else? – and Michael – Caine, of course, who else?
And Caine’s conversation gets around to all the great things Best – now playing with Marsh at Fulham – did at Old Trafford.
The problem arrives when Caine leans across the table and,